There are 3 main situations that lead men to be pathetic for women.
That is when a man wants something that he can't get (like sex or
love), when a man looses something that he wants back (like a
girlfriend) and when a man is in the process of loosing something he
doesn't want to loose (like an imminent break up).
A man that
says or does pathetic things to fix any of these situations becomes as
unattractive as he can possibly became. Nothing is more of a turn off
for a woman that a man that begs for pity or for some concession.
me give you some examples. A classic one is a man that lusts after a
woman, or women, and he is not getting anything in return to his
attentions or his attempts; or perhaps he is getting only a small
amount of teasing that keeps him trying without real success. This
situation is so common that any man on the planet at least once faced
it at some point in life. I did too, a few times. The worse possible
thing a man can do in this cases is to became pathetic and beg or send
cries for attention. This is often done by guys in the forms of
complaints on their miserable existence or situation, cries of
desperation, pathetic letters and messages, claims of infinite love or
other overwhelming feelings, exaggerations going from talking about
suicide to cries of pain toward God or nature or other universal and
immense concepts. A man that acts this way will never ever get anything
other than pity from the object of his desires. Even if a man gets
something out of pity, like a forced date, it is going to be only as a
way for a woman to stop the torture and to stop the pathetic cry in
hope that it won't happen again.
If you can't get what you want,
please do not be pathetic. You make people puke, you do not attract
anything but pity. It is disgusting and miserable; an insult to
humanity and a waste of your energies that you could use in better ways.
example is when a relationship is ending and a man doesn't want it to
end. A man that wants to maintain a relationship going should never beg
or became pathetic with sad love letters, cute and constant messages of
eternal love, constantly calling and trying from every angle including
harassing or using common friends or family. If he does he will loose
all the respect of a woman and any real possibility of a long and happy
relationship in the future.
There are some exceptions in which
desperation is sincere and is briefly expressed immediately and on the
spot of some painful event. This is sad but not necessarily pathetic,
and sometimes it needs to happen spontaneously to express some
As an example, if a woman leaves a man
after a long relationship and a man cries spontaneously, that is sad
but understandable. While I don't think it helps anything and I
personally wouldn't do it, I also won't pass judgment on that. After
this strong first reaction a man needs to find his calm and stance and
face the situation. No whining, no self pity, no crawling on knees or
beg for concessions. A man needs to face reality and either try to fix
whatever went wrong, if there is a way to do so, or just accept it and
move on. Life doesn't end and begging is not going to bring anything
back. It just pushes a woman away further and further.
I am not
saying that a man shouldn't suffer. Suffering because a woman is normal
and it happens. I suffered many times. I am saying that a man shouldn't
try to get back what he lost trying to inspire pity or other sad
You need to be what the woman you care about used to
like, not a mess of tears and sad exaggerations. That is very
If she leaves you for something you did, you should
try to understand your fault talking to her. If you can't see it, do
not admit a fault that you don't understand or even have. Accept the
fact that she doesn't like you for what you are and move on, knowing
that is better that way. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't
appreciate your real self. On the oter hand, if you can see a fault in
your actions, see if you can and want to fix it and if she is willing
to give you a chance. If not, move on. Don't try to fix what can't be
fixed or what doesn't exist. Don't change yourself to accommodate a
woman. It may seem like a good thing to do on the moment of crisis
(like claiming "I'll change..."), but it is not a good thing in the
long term. People don't change unless they learn either falling hard or
with time and experience. The "I'll change" promise is sincere when is
made; as soon as the situation calms down, that promise is forgotten
and things go back to be what they were. Men have a short memory.
The bottom line is: if you are a man, please never be pathetic to get a woman. It is not going to work. Period.